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Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so arrogant if I wasn't paying for your bridges, bitch. All those Federal taxes you to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your orange juice. The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal dollars and pay the least can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, mofoer, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own stop signs, assholes. Let’s talk about those values for a minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s Massachusetts, the center of the marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to guess? 10 of the top 10 are red-ass we're-so-fugging-moral states. And while is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its part.
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